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(2) A Very Difficult Time

While dealing with the loss of a loved one is difficult for anyone, I think it poses special challenges for highly sensitive people. Since we experience emotions on such a deep level, we can easily become overwhelmed by our feelings. When my mother died, I was both shocked and heartbroken. It also dredged up feelings of sadness for other losses I have experienced in my life.

I want to share a poem that summarizes some of the feelings I was having at the time.

I seem to be falling apart.
My attention span can be measured in seconds.
My patience in minutes.
I cry at the drop of a hat.
Feelings of anxiety and restlessness are my constant companions.
Rainy days seem extra dreary.
Sunny days seem an outrage.
Other people’s pain and frustration seem insignificant.
Laughing, happy people seem out of place in my world.
It has become routine to feel half crazy.
I am normal I am told.
I am a newly grieving person.


Grief is a normal part of life, as everyone will feel sorrow at some time. Instead of resisting what has happened, it helps to accept the loss and do what you can to care for yourself. I realized that dwelling so much on my mother’s death was not making me feel any better. I felt emotionally and physically drained all the time!

I made a conscious decision to focus more of my time and energy on the many details that needed to be addressed at that present time. I felt empowered that I had chosen to put my grief in its proper perspective. I was in a better position to control my life.

However, as a grieving person, it still took time to regroup, so that I could arrive at this “new normal” and move forward with the things that I needed and wanted to do. It took both patience and perseverance to shift my mindset. As I look back, it’s painful for me to think about that time in my life, but I have definitely grown as a person from having had this experience, however sad it was.

We can all learn from our sorrows and disappointments. This is where we gain wisdom that makes us stronger to face life’s challenges. Sometimes we take for granted how strong we really are. I will talk more about my grieving process in upcoming posts.

How have you dealt with loss in your life? What kinds of coping strategies worked for you? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments you have about this subject.

The next post, (3) Why It’s Important To Ask For Help, is about the benefits of asking for help.

About Cliff’s Big Move Series: In this series of blog posts, I chronicle a really “Big Move” that my wife and I made to move halfway across the country to be closer to our daughter. This was a HUGE change for us, as we had lived in our home in New Jersey for over 30 years! My mother had recently passed away, and our only daughter had moved to Missouri. It is my hope that this series will motivate you, as a highly sensitive person, to take on something that’s truly important to you. I tell the story sequentially in 23 posts, with each one numbered. It’s best to start at the beginning. You can access all the posts by clicking on the Cliff’s Big Move category in the sidebar.

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