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#HighlySensitivePeople: What Are You Worried About?

Unfortunately, worry has been a constant companion in my life. As I get older, and hopefully wiser, I’m learning that most things that I worried about didn’t happen or weren’t as bad as I thought. Has this happened to you?

We formulate our thought patterns early in our lives. Have you stopped to examine if some of these thought patterns are true? For some unknown reason I had come to believe that the more I worried, the better I could cope with worry, fear, and anxiety. Definitely not true!

I’ve come to realize that my thoughts and beliefs were not serving me.  They were restricting me from peace and happiness. My negative thought patterns were hindering my confidence and self-esteem to handle my problems.

Our beliefs control the kinds of experiences we allow ourselves to have. Fear, worry, and anxiety are learned.  They are connected to a feeling that something terrible may happen even though it hasn’t happened yet.

The reality is that fear, worry, and anxiety are connected to the need to be in control. Can any of you relate to wanting to be in control? These negative emotions aren’t productive and don’t guarantee a positive outcome.

Why not change your outlook and imagine the best possible outcome? I realize that this might be a stretch for some of you, but this takes practice. Train yourself to think positive thoughts rather than negative ones.

My ability to better cope with these destructive feelings was helped tremendously when I changed to a having a positive mental attitude. Other antidotes for worry, fear and anxiety is to get more sleep, exercise, talk to someone you trust, listen to music, and change your environment.

It’s important to note that we do have more control over the things that cause us angst than we realize. We can set personal boundaries with others and make changes in the environments that cause us stress.

Is worry, fear, and anxiety an issue for you? If so, how do you handle it? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Keith

    This has been one of my Achilles heals my whole life, and until realizing my HSPness, I thought it was normal, especially since I inherited it, and my worrying tendencies, from my father. Consciously knowing that it’s all “in your head” helps me to short circuit the worrying tendency and focus on something poaitibe instead.

  2. Cliff

    Hi Keith,

    We all have worry tendencies. The key is to see if your worry is rational. If so, what can you do about it? Taking action on what’s bothering you will lessen its hold on you. You’ll be better able to move forward in your life.

  3. Lillard Donna

    I do rescue and take care of several cats. I lost my own at 11 years old who was very near to my heart and was devastated. Now when the slightest thing is “off” with them, lately a few have been losing weight, I can’t stop worrying about them. My Miley who passed only didn’t eat for 2 days to discover her kidneys were failing and all the money and hope didn’t help her recover. Now I feel like any of them it will be the same. This also happened to her sister 6 months later who my daughter had. Please if anyone has ideas- 2 are going to the vet today but one I just spent lots of money getting tested before a dental because I’m worrying there’s more to it.

    1. Cliff

      I’m very sorry for your loss!

      I know exactly how you feel. I’ve had to put my 2 cats (ages 16 1/2 and 19 1/2) to sleep for health reasons. We did more for our cats than we do for ourselves.

      I know it’s upsetting for you, but the best we can do is to love them and help them whenever we can. Worrying isn’t going to help the situation. If it did, our loving companions would always be well.

      Again, do the best you can and do whatever you can.

  4. Lillard Donna

    Thank you for this comforting reply, as I’m just seeing it today and I’m sorry for that. Two ended up needing very expensive dental work and one seems to be bouncing back ok while the older one is still having trouble- surgery was a week ago. They do give me comfort daily but I’m still pretty worried for the older cat and have some special food I’m waiting to be delivered to help him gain some weight back. I did meditate today and I think it’s helping! I’m really trying not to obsess over this.

  5. Cliff

    Keep meditating and do whatever you can for your cat.

    I know how difficult this is for you. Let’s hope for the best.

  6. S

    I’m wondering if as HSPs we are more inclined to have worry, fear, and anxiety because for those of us who did not know we were HSPs from childhood, we ( at least I do) feel like everyone else has been controlling our lives for us, directly or indirectly, by the very fact that our HSP needs haven’t been met because we didn’t know we were HSP and had specific needs very different than 80 % of the rest of people around us. So my natural response when someone wants to decide something that involves me is worry, fear, anxiety because I wasn’t involved in the decision making process. I think it is normal to need control of our lives. I think it’s healthy.

    If I reflect upon different aspects of my life , I realize I did not make many of the decisions that were made. This is a discomforting fact to accept at 58 years of age. Simple things like the decor of my house. Because my HSP self takes a long time to make decisions and likes to assess all possibilities, my spouse interpreted this as procrastination. So he decorated the house and I don’t like it. I don’t like any of the furniture, I don’t like how nothing matches, I don’t like the prints on the wall, I don’t like how cluttered it is. I don’t like how my needs haven’t been met.

    He comes from a very controlling family, I’ve watched how they function, so there’s no point in commenting on how I don’t like the decor. I try to put my own tastes into the kitchen and sewing nook and one of the bedrooms. The rest I just try to ignore. I spend a lot of time outside to get away from the clutter.

    Same with socializing. Not knowing what kind of socializing was best for me as an introverted empath HSP….my comments about past social events have left people thinking I don’t like to be with people.

    I think I would have been better off single. I feel I’ve missed a lot of MY life because I haven’t had my needs as an HSP met. Oh well.

    I try to reduce my anxiety daily with physical exercise, breathing exercises, intellectual exercises, time alone resting, eating well. I was recently introduced to LogoSynthesis ( check online..with Willem Lammers) by an Empath HSP psychotherapist and this form of releasing negative energy has clicked with me. Anxiety and fear can be addressed with this process. If anyone has tried all they can think of and nothing has worked, try this. It’s very simple and profound.

    Well, my phone chime is telling me it’s time to sleep.

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