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Highly Sensitive People: Do you take other people’s crap?

Do you take other people’s crap? By that I mean, do you let other people say or do inappropriate things to you that you don’t deserve?

I must admit that when I was a child, I didn’t defend myself. I let people walk all over me. Since I was too afraid to fight back, I became a human doormat! The best advice that my late mother ever gave me was, “Speak up, or be left behind.”

These are words of wisdom that I should have heeded many years before I actually did. I found that the better I felt about myself, the more I assertive I could be, and the more assertive I was, the better I felt about myself. I believe that’s called a virtuous cycle.

Another very important lesson that I’ve learned is that you have to respond to inappropriate behavior right away. If you let it go, you will only embolden the perpetrator, and the behavior may escalate.

Remember that nobody has the right to mistreat you for any reason! You must speak up for yourself! You’ll have more respect for yourself, and you’ll find that others will follow suit.

You don’t have to come off as a maniac to defend yourself. A cool, collected, and calm manner is the best way to state your case. The goal isn’t to get into a fight but to establish boundaries to let the other person know what you will and won’t tolerate.

Remember that you don’t have to do this alone. Seek allies who will support you as you go through this process. Doing hard things is always easier when you have people you can turn to for support, even if it’s just someone who can listen to you and empathize with your struggles.

Do you take other people’s crap? If so, it’s worth examining why you do and to consider ways that you can change this. Again, you don’t deserve to be treated with disrespect! I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Lorne

    About a week ago I met a really beautiful woman on the train, spent the afternoon with her, and had a nice meal at a river front restaurant.

    I wasn’t going to get her contact details, but she pulled me back at the train “we have a few more minutes”, so I stupidly got her FB, and texted her the next day…

    And she ghosted me.

    So I unfriended, but I also called her on it (which I would not have done in the past).

    She made a non-credible excuse – it doesn’t matter. The point is I was upset and I said something about it for a change. So maybe that’s good, but I’m still not sure…

  2. Cliff Harwin

    Hi Lorne,

    You did what you thought was right. There’s nothing wrong with that.
    Perhaps she was truly busy and didn’t return your text. Maybe she did give you a non-credible excuse. Who knows?
    Something to think about…. Do you think that you rushed to judgement? Would you want to try to pursue this relationship again? The answers to these questions is entirely up to you.

    1. Lorne

      Haha no she has a boyfriend (she didn’t mention until called her on it) – and she said “didn’t see it” (but in messenger you can tell if someone has seen it). So deal-breakers all, but it was really nice to spend a day with her 🙂

  3. Cliff Harwin

    You had a nice day.
    It’s all good!
    Good for you for folllowing up.
    I’m sure that there will be more good days ahead for you!

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