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Do you take other people’s crap?

Do you take other people’s crap?

Do you take other people’s crap? By that I mean, do you let other people say or do inappropriate things to you that you don’t deserve?

I must admit that when I was a child, I didn’t defend myself. I let people walk all over me. Since I was too afraid to fight back, I became a human doormat! The best advice that my mother ever gave me was, “Speak up, or be left behind.”

These are words of wisdom that I should have heeded many years before I actually did. I found that the better I felt about myself, the more I assertive I could be, and the more assertive I was, the better I felt about myself. I believe that’s called a virtuous cycle.

Another very important lesson that I’ve learned is that you have to respond to inappropriate behavior right away. If you let it go, you will only embolden the perpetrator, and the behavior may escalate.

Remember that nobody has the right to mistreat you for any reason! You must speak up for yourself! You’ll have more respect for yourself, and you’ll find that others will follow suit.

You don’t have to come off as a maniac to defend yourself. A cool, collected, and calm manner is the best way to state your case. The goal isn’t to get into a fight but to establish boundaries to let the other person know what you will and won’t tolerate.

Remember that you don’t have to do this alone. Seek allies who will support you as you go through this process. Doing hard things is always easier when you have people you can turn to for support, even if it’s just someone who can listen to you and empathize with your struggles.

Do you take other people’s crap? If so, it’s worth examining why you do and to consider ways that you can change this. Again, you don’t deserve to be treated with disrespect! I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. I definitely used to take a LOT more crap than I do now. I was very shy and introverted as a child, but thankfully I have grown up to be quite a different adult. Unfortunately, many people see qualities like quietness and shyness as qualities of a stupid, arrogant, or other negative characteristic, to be the case, instead of seeing the qualities of an HSP. And I have found, usually, nothing could be further than the truth. I still tend to be the one that usually gives in, or compromises, but when it’s really important to me, I will stand my ground.

    1. I relate to everything that you said! We, HSPs, have to set the record straight about our positive traits by our actions. We definitely do have to pick our battles!

  2. I def take more crap from people then I should. Tend to think more about other peoples feelings than my own… Thinking they need to unload, they are not happy, don’t want to hurt their feelings etc…

    1. We all have to make choices. Are our feelings less valuable than others? No right or wrong answers here. Again we all have to make choices.

  3. Good advice! I spent many years as a doormat before learning this.

    1. Thanks Sid! It’s important to remember that we don’t have to accept unacceptable behavior.

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