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Do You Get Upset Over Other People’s Insensitivity?

As as highly sensitive person, I sometimes wonder if I get overly upset over the insensitivity of other people. Or perhaps I’m being perfectly reasonable. It’s hard to say! Recently, a friend of mine, who is a very conscientious and hard worker, was telling me about the tips he received while working in the food service industry.

He said he wasn’t sure which was worse for him at work, the grapefruit-sized cramp in his left calf or the small tips he was getting. His examples included $1.50 on $33, $1 on $51, and $4 on $56.

I was shocked and outraged to hear that people would treat their server that way, especially one who treats his customers as well as my friend! I am someone who works hard and values hard work in others. If I receive satisfactory service from a server, I will always leave a good tip.

I asked my friend if he thought these people lacked common sense, or if they just didn’t care. He replied that he thought these people felt they were doing the right thing. I thought that my friend was being too generous in his opinion of these people, and I’m sure I was far more angry than he was!

It really bothered me that these people were either too insensitive or too stupid to know what the right thing was! Serving the public in a restaurant setting is difficult on a physical and emotional level. The servers deserve our respect and monetary consideration!

What do you think? Did my friend’s customers show a lack of common sense, or were they insensitive? Am I being too judgmental of others? Am I being “too sensitive” about this? Do you find yourself getting upset, perhaps overly so, about the insensitivity of others? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Kristie

    I truly feel that this generation and especially the newest generation are totally clueless when it comes to manners, service or common sense at times. I learned from my father and fiancee that 15% is a good tip when receiving good service (which if you ask me is lacking a little these days). However, for those that do provide good service they deserve at least that. With so many people having cell phones that come with a calculator tool there is no excuse for not figuring it out. In my observation the general pubic as a whole are ungrateful for what they receive and expect too much at times. I don’t know if I would call it stupidity or just laziness.

    1. Cliff Harwin

      Hi Halyna,

      Thank you for your interesting perspective about tipping.
      I don’t know what the answer is, but you really got me thinking about it!
      I’m for fairness to the customer, employee, and the employer.

  2. Sarah

    We all want the best for the people we care about, but it seems your energy would be better spent focusing on things you have more control over. It’s also important to note that your friend isn’t all that bothered by it. HSPs have to be careful not to get too caught up in “other people’s stuff!” I am guilty of this myself, especially when it comes to people in my family, but at least I am better than I used to be!

    1. Cliff Harwin

      Hi Sarah,

      I do have to conserve my HSP energy! You’re correct about focusing on things that I have more control over! I’ll try to remember this when this happens again. This happens more than I care to admit! I am a work in progress.

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