People who are highly sensitive feel things very deeply, and this can make us vulnerable to getting stuck in a negative mindset. On the flip side, we also feel joy deeply, so if we can find ways to be happy, we’ll get an amazing return on our investment!
It should be pretty obvious that everyone deserves to be happy. Happiness is a state of mind, a reaction to the experiences in our lives. Some of us have the good fortune to be born with a happy disposition. Others might have to “work” at being happy.
Where do you fit into the happiness spectrum? Do you focus more on the positive or negative things in your life? Does it bother you to be unhappy, or are you accustomed to it?
Why are some people chronically unhappy? Some of it could be a genetic predisposition to depression or perhaps a chemical imbalance. It could be the result of habits formed in childhood. Perhaps you felt isolated and were rewarded for your unhappiness with attention and sympathy. There are even people who become addicted to unhappiness.
Some people are afraid to be happy. While being happy feels good, it makes you vulnerable to disappointment and grief if you lose the things that made you happy. Perhaps you’ve experienced deep loss, so you now want to protect yourself from potential pain.
Some people feel they don’t deserve happiness. This is usually a self-esteem or guilt issue. Perhaps you’re blocking your happiness, either consciously or unconsciously, to punish yourself for a mistake that you made.
Everyone deserves to be happy! It’s a question of whether you really want to be. Misfortunes happen to all of us. It’s how we react to these challenges that matters most. Happy people tend to live in the moment, focusing on the good things that they can tap into right now, rather than dwelling on the past or future.
We all have choices to make, and choosing happiness is one of the most powerful choices you can make! If you’re not happy, make it a priority to get out of the rut you’re in. Seek support from others, whether it’s friends, family, a therapist or a coach. There’s no reason why you can’t lead a happy and fulfilled life, and you’ll be richly rewarded once you take responsibility for your own happiness!
“The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.” Doug Larson
Do you believe that you deserve to be happy? If not, why not? What can you do to feel better about yourself to have more happiness? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.
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Hi Cliff – thank you for your article. It is very clear and logical, with practical advice and that is very refreshing. I feel like I subconsciously think I am less deserving of happiness. I (currently) work less hard then non-HSP’s (became self-employed). I also fear I am less capable of the long hours and office politics to due to overstimulation and difficulties finding a sustainable work-life balance in a HSP-unfriendly world. It makes me feel less deserving. I obviously struggle with these thoughts. What is your view about this? Many thanks, Eva
Hi Eva,
Thank you for your comments!
You are not alone in subconsciously thinking that you’re less deserving of happiness. I’ve observed in myself and others that we get in life what we expect and deserve. I ask myself…Doesn’t everyone deserve some level of happiness? Unfortunately many people don’t believe they do. I was inspired to write this post to get people to think about their lives.
I believe that all highly sensitive people should be self-employed in some capacity, either part-time or full time. Being self-employed doesn’t mean you work less hard. For me, it was the only way for me to go. I’m proud to say that I was self-employed for 35 years!
We highly sensitive people need to control our own work environment. I wish you much success in your new venture. Please keep me posted on your progress!!