Highly Sensitive People/Introverts: Do You Have Too Many “Should’s” In Your Life?
Photo by Adi Goldstein

Highly Sensitive People/Introverts: Do You Have Too Many “Should’s” In Your Life?

Do you have too many “shoulds” in your life? Do you find yourself and others saying to you….You should do this, or You should do that?

Why should you have to do anything? Shouldn’t you be free to do what you want and not be bound by what you and others think you should do?

As highly sensitive people/introverts, it seems to be a natural inclination for us to put others people’s needs ahead of our own. Why is this so? Have we conditioned ourselves to think that our needs are somehow less important?

If you have people in your life who encourage you to place your needs last, you need to examine these relationships and figure out how to change the dynamics. Others may use guilt to manipulate you into doing what they want. Don’t fall for it. Remember that your needs are just as important as those of anyone else. Healthy relationships have both give and take. I wish I would have learned this much earlier in my life!

Obligated or expected are words that come to mind when I think I should do something. Here are some quotes that put these words into a better perspective.

  • What we need to understand is that when traditions become laws, rules, obligations and expectations others put on us that we don’t want to fulfill, then they lose real meaning and steal the joy from our lives.”… Joyce Meyer
  • I want to wake up every day and do whatever comes in my mind, and not feel pressure or obligations to do anything else in my life.” … Michael Jordan
  • Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is impossible.” …Richard Bach
  • I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.“… Bruce Lee
  • True generosity is an offering; given freely and out of pure love. No strings attached. No expectations. Time and love are the most valuable possession you can share.” … Suze Orman
  • You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations.”… Stevie Wonder
  • I’m not interested in meeting people’s expectations, and I’m not interested in pleasing people“… John Frusciante

Is this last quote too harsh, or is it realistic? Do you have too many “shoulds” in your life? I’m interested in any thoughts or comments that you have.

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Jana

    Yes!! I was like this before, living on other people’s terms, because that was simply the “only way”, that was the idea society wanted to ingrain in me. Luckily,over time and experience and through meeting inspirational authentic people I realized this was bullsh*t.
    About the last quote – depends how one miught take it.. I dont want to be completely inconsiderate of other people, but yes, the main focus of doing anything and living my life should be – pleasing myself first (unless it involves seriously harming someone else). Cheers to this!

  2. Cliff Harwin

    Hi Jana,
    It’s nice to see how much you’ve evolved!
    This is also called growth!
    Cheers to you and your continuing improvement!

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